Siblings Rivalry is the competition, strife, envy, and war that take place between children from the same parents. It is usually a concern for nearly all parents.
No parent enjoys seeing his/her kids in rivalry. Problems regularly start amongst siblings after the birth of the second child. Rivalry typically continues in the course of childhood and can transcend to adulthood.
Interestingly, there are a lot of things parents can do to enable their children to get along better and work through conflicts in advantageous ways.
See Also: How Family Values Influence Children’s Behavior
Causes of Siblings Rivalry
A lot of factors contribute to rivalry amongst siblings. We have explained some of these causes below.
1. Each child is competing to define who they are as an individual. As they discover who they are, they attempt to discover their very own talents, activities, and interests.
They tend to prove that they are the best and therefore are better than the rest. This leads to unhealthy competition.
2. Children become hostile and aggressive to their siblings if they are getting an unequal amount of your attention, discipline, and responsiveness. The absence of equal and fair treatment from parents to their kids can bring about rivalry.
3. Children may also sense their relationship with their parents is threatened by the arrival of a new baby. Oftentimes, a feeling of jealousy is stirred up in a child on the arrival of a newborn.
This older kid probably believes his/her position is taken away by another, coupled with the show of attention and affection.
4. The different stages of development in children might affect how they behave and how they get along with one another. Some become stubborn, aggressive, and rude as they mature. This might affect their relationship with their siblings.
5. Children who are stressed, hungry, bored, or tired are likely to become annoyed and engage in unnecessary fights with their siblings.
6. Children may not be aware of the right manner of approach to get attention from a sibling or how to begin playful activities, so they pick fights instead.
7. Hereditary is also a major cause of sibling rivalry. For instance, a child might remind a parent of a relative who was specifically difficult, and this may subconsciously affect how the parent treats that child.
This can breed hatred in such a child. And so, he/she becomes hostile to other siblings who receive different treatment from the parents.
8. Siblings Rivalry is also prominent amongst families who believe that fighting and confrontation is the best way to resolve issues. Children from such families are quick to engage in fights with anybody who offends them. Hence, such an attitude is also exhibited in the home.
9. Lack of family time can also trigger sibling rivalry. When families do not have enjoyable time collectively such as having meals together and chatting, there is a possibility of the children engaging in constant conflict.
10. Parents’ attitudes toward their children and how they resolve issues in the home can affect how these kids get along. Children always tend to play out what they see others do especially their parents.
See Also: Importance of Varying Parenting Styles in Child Grooming
Solutions to Siblings Rivalry
- Parents mustn’t have favorites among their kids. Every child ought to be loved equally and treated fairly.
- Do not compare your child with another.
- Let every child be who they are. Don’t strive to pigeonhole or label them. Rather, encourage them to be the best of themselves.
- Accept each of your children’s abilities and successes. Encourage them to improve.
- Encourage your children to cooperate with themselves instead of competing.
- Pay keen attention to what triggers conflicts among your kids or what time of the day they have issues within themselves. Ensure to address such issues amicably or probably re-adjust routines to avoid future rivalry.
- Teach your children the right ways to get attention from each other. Show them how to approach another child and ask them to play, and share their property with them.
- Although each of your children might not receive equal treatment due to age differences, needs, and abilities, they must receive fair treatment. Also, make your kids understand the reasons for your actions and reassure them of your love for them.
- Always have quality family time. Do enjoyable things with your kids such as playing with them, going on outings, having regular family chats, etc. This can foster a bond among your kids.
These experiences make it difficult for them to have huge conflicts and ease the tension when it arises.
- Seek ways to help your children manage crises among themselves. Also, help any of them that is easily prone to anger and fights to manage his/her temper by making necessary research or visiting a therapist.