Raising and dealing with teens can be a difficult period for parents and caregivers. The teen stage is a stage recognized with a set of special needs.
This stage marks the acceleration of physical growth, psychological, and behavioural changes. This resulting in the transition from childhood to adulthood.
Who is a difficult teenager?
A Difficult teenager is unapproachable, lacks compassion and empathy towards family.
Difficult teenagers always want to have their way in everything.
One characteristic of difficult teenagers is that they enjoy pushing buttons. Thereby, making you react in a negative way.
Reasons why you have a difficult teenager.
- Parents’ overprotective attitude.
- Lack of trust from parents.
- When parents or caregivers do not give them the chance to do what they are passionate about.
- Pressure from friends.
- Unguarded freedom; this is when your teenager has the freedom to do whatever he/she wants.
- Difficult teenagers believe parents don’t listen to them.
- Over indulgent parenting style
Attitudes of difficult teenagers
Some attitudes of difficult Teenagers
- They tease a lot.
- They talk back.
- They are disrespectful.
- They slam doors when upset
- They want to have their way in everything.
- They don’t want parents to make choices for them.
- They mutter words when given directives.
- They visit unhealthy friends in secret.
- They go on blind date
- They do not show empathy.
- They always want to be alone.
- They enjoy the company of unhealthy friends.
A lot of times as parents you feel like hurting them. To discipline difficult teenagers you need patience.
How to discipline a difficult Teenager
Let us see how you can discipline a difficult teenager without hurting anyone.
See Also 5 Amazing Tips to Parenting Teenagers
Discover the root
The root of your teen’s attitude when discovered would be a headway to solving the problem. Teenagers’ attitudes can be general.
You are likely to find the same trait in other teenagers as it is in your teenager. What makes your teen different from others, would be as a result of
- Parenting Style
Set boundaries
As your teen grows they know what you like and dislike. To discipline your difficult teenager you have to set boundaries. Let your teenager know what is acceptable and not acceptable.
Set time for your teenager to visit friends and accept friends as visitors.
Set time for screen and study.
To achieve this, make a list of your boundaries with your partner and teenager. If you are a single parent, write these down. If your teen refuses to take part, write them down.
Writing down the boundaries makes things transparent for everyone.
Deny them privileges
To discipline teens who have always had everything at their beck and call. You should, as parents, deny them certain privileges.
These privileges shouldn’t be their basic needs as teens. The basic needs include; food, sleep time.
Taking away privileges can be a very effective discipline strategy.
Whether you choose to deprive your teen of a fun event or not. Some strategies will make deprivation an effective way to discipline your difficult teenager.
This will encourage your teenager to make better choices in the future.
Taking away privileges teaches teenagers that privileges are earned.
Assign your teens tasks to handle
When your teenager becomes difficult to handle. Give them tasks to handle and manage.
You can achieve this by taking advantage of their demand. Allow them to earn what they request of you.
When your teen wants a game set. Assign them tasks to manage over some time. Get the game set upon completion of the task.
Managing tasks creates a sense of responsibility and calmness.
Let them experience consequences
Let your teenager face the consequences for going against set rules and orders in the home.
Saving a difficult teenager whenever he/she does wrong isn’t healthy for him/her.
Saving your teen from the consequence of their actions, means you will keep saving them.
This is because they will take advantage of your lack of firmness.
Your teen will always try to know if you would follow through with the consequences. Always deliver on your punishment as you have stated.
This gives your teenager the push they need to shift from resistance to cooperation.
Your teenager would also know that every action has a consequence.
Silence
Teens want to have a taste of freedom and independence. They want to know they are in charge. The feeling of freedom pushes them to be naughty and make unthinkable decisions.
You are the adult here. Fighting and arguing with your difficult teenager is not beneficial. This can lead to a crack in parent-teen relationships.
To discipline difficult teenagers, there are times when you need to be silent.
Your teen needs to see you calm, expecting scolding and shouting. Silence creates an atmosphere of reflection for both you and your teen.
Also, this can cause your teenager to be sober for his/her action.
Give them opportunities to solve problems
Your teen is acting difficult because you make him/her rely so much on you as a parent.
Also, difficult teenagers are that way because they believe adults do not listen to them. Make yourself approachable and available for them to come to you with their problems.
Listen without commenting for a long period. Until they have gotten their problem off their mind.
Allow them to feel comfortable sharing worries, fears, and dreams.
When teenagers know that they need to resolve an issue, they will spend time thinking.
The process of thinking gives less time for difficult attitudes.
Problem-solving is a very important skill.
Problem-solving helps trim your teen’s ego. Hence, teaching them to face challenges as well as personal development.
Show them, Love
Teenagers who feel loved by parents are less likely to develop negative influences.
Prove to your teenager that he/she loved, and cared about.
Rather than being angry, respond with a smile. Be curious about the situations your teenager claims as the source of their problems.
Use dialogue
Difficult teenagers can be disciplined or handled through one-on-one conversation.
Teenagers at this stage feel like adults and would like to have a feeling of adulthood.
Dialogue gives them a sense of respect. When you dialogue with your teenager, get to know the reason behind the behaviour.
Change your Parenting style
Changing or varying parenting styles can go a long way in dealing with your teenager. Your teenager has to see you being firm and keeping to your word. Also, they need to see that approachable parent.
Changing parenting style is important in raising teenagers. It not only gives room for growth but helps raise great teens.
When you discover your teenager is difficult, check your parenting style. Hence, find out if there is a need for a change.
Teenagers are innovative and resourceful, if only you will be patient enough to discover them.